Tuesday, August 11, 2009

We're Sorry For You

Dear angry guy on the US Air flight from Phoenix to Boston,

We're sorry that you didn't enjoy all that is domestic air travel. Although the five year old boy and his grandparents seated behind you were the model of exemplary behavior, we regret that you were forced to endure an entire stanza of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". Your cursing, muttering, rubbing of your temples, and pulling of your hair is understandable under these most trying of circumstances. The next time you choose to fly US Air, may we suggest something besides seething to help pass the time? If you are not afflicted by illiteracy, our Airbus A320 safety brochure, the ever-intruiging SkyMall catalogue, or the directions on an airsickness bag provide a much needed distraction from the human beings seated around you. Please use the enclosed drink coupons on your next travel from your mother's basement to the nearest Dungeons and Dragons convention. Thank you for choosing not to have your own children.
Sincerely,
US Air Customer Experience Management

Friday, August 07, 2009

You Are Now Returned To Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

This is a test. This is only a test. In the event of a real nap, both children would have actually been sleeping, and in their own beds.