Friday, March 14, 2008

Burnin' For You

I had an almost-really-bad-day the other day. Flying along, all systems hunky dory, and then, an engine fire warning light. In an emergency, my normal response is to take one second before doing anything to gather my thoughts and take a deep breath. During that one second the other day, the first thought that I did gather was, "Oh, shizzo."

Being on fire is bad. Being a thousand feet above the ground and on fire is worse. After some quick checks though our problem was diagnosed as just a malfunctioning light, not a flaming engine.

In case of emergencies requiring a smiling baby, I keep pictures of The Lady with me when I'm flying. I have this collage of her on the back of my kneeboard. Although the "family pictures in the cockpit" sentiment was inspired by Cougar in Top Gun, I don't think I'll ever need the assistance of Tom Cruise to land the aircraft.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Her Father's Daughter

From Tucson pediatrician, Dr. Heins: "Unlike thumb-sucking, nose-picking requires a fair amount of hand coordination to be successful, so repetitive nose-picking is not seen much before age four or five." According to the good doctor, The Lady is quite developmentally advanced. I always knew she would be able to dig one out early.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008


Dark and satisfying with a deliciously sweet center.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

My Kid Sounds Like...

The Lady is really into yelling. The kind of yelling that forces you to close your eyes and pray that the damage to your tympanic membrane won't leave you bumbling around a Walgreens looking for a sale on hearing aids.

Doctor Smart tells us these "expressions" are just another precursor to real speech. So far her attempts at subject-predicate-object construction vaguely resemble somebody trying to pull off a Bill Cosby.

Sam Kinison and my daughter both sound like this when they want more chicken fingers. Actually I think Sam made that noise when he wanted more coke. At the end of her dinner, she usually wraps up with a Howard Dean-like "Yeaaaaaaawwwwwh!" His behavior cost him the Democratic nomination. Her behavior cost her two animal cookies.

"I want to pull the cat's tail and you can't stop me!"
--The Lady, 2008

This is pretty much exactly what she sounds like. I had no idea that yelling contests are also conducted outside of our household. Thankfully I sound nothing like that kid's dad.