Friday, March 14, 2008

Burnin' For You

I had an almost-really-bad-day the other day. Flying along, all systems hunky dory, and then, an engine fire warning light. In an emergency, my normal response is to take one second before doing anything to gather my thoughts and take a deep breath. During that one second the other day, the first thought that I did gather was, "Oh, shizzo."

Being on fire is bad. Being a thousand feet above the ground and on fire is worse. After some quick checks though our problem was diagnosed as just a malfunctioning light, not a flaming engine.

In case of emergencies requiring a smiling baby, I keep pictures of The Lady with me when I'm flying. I have this collage of her on the back of my kneeboard. Although the "family pictures in the cockpit" sentiment was inspired by Cougar in Top Gun, I don't think I'll ever need the assistance of Tom Cruise to land the aircraft.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Her Father's Daughter

From Tucson pediatrician, Dr. Heins: "Unlike thumb-sucking, nose-picking requires a fair amount of hand coordination to be successful, so repetitive nose-picking is not seen much before age four or five." According to the good doctor, The Lady is quite developmentally advanced. I always knew she would be able to dig one out early.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008


Dark and satisfying with a deliciously sweet center.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

My Kid Sounds Like...

The Lady is really into yelling. The kind of yelling that forces you to close your eyes and pray that the damage to your tympanic membrane won't leave you bumbling around a Walgreens looking for a sale on hearing aids.

Doctor Smart tells us these "expressions" are just another precursor to real speech. So far her attempts at subject-predicate-object construction vaguely resemble somebody trying to pull off a Bill Cosby.

Sam Kinison and my daughter both sound like this when they want more chicken fingers. Actually I think Sam made that noise when he wanted more coke. At the end of her dinner, she usually wraps up with a Howard Dean-like "Yeaaaaaaawwwwwh!" His behavior cost him the Democratic nomination. Her behavior cost her two animal cookies.

"I want to pull the cat's tail and you can't stop me!"
--The Lady, 2008

This is pretty much exactly what she sounds like. I had no idea that yelling contests are also conducted outside of our household. Thankfully I sound nothing like that kid's dad.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Thanks, Global Climate Change!

This is why we live in Phoenix and not Weymouth.

It's February and we put The Lady in the pool for the first time. Ok, we put her feet in because the water is only 65 degrees. Five seconds after this picture

was taken she fell into the water, but was surprisingly happy about it.

Note that The MaMa is just outside this frame because we are fanatics about her around the pool. I was shocked to find out that not all parents are vigilant about kids and water. I knew a guy that freely admitted that he and his wife regularly left their infant child alone in the bathtub, "but only for a few seconds." Seriously? This is one way to get the point across.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The First Happy Snap

Robyn bought a new camera and, wow, is it incredible incredibly complicated. I did convince her to allow me to take it into the backyard and try my hand at capturing all that is The Lady. I took about fifty shots, and this one was by far the best. I think the b&w version adds a little mellowness to her contemplative look. I seem to have, inadvertently, met some of the elements of photographing kids. Certainly more to come.

Monday, February 25, 2008

"You want me to fetch what? When? Say again?"

Yesterday, for the first time ever, we flew with a search and rescue dog in the back of the helicopter. Her partner didn't have any hearing protection for her, but these people make some dog-headwear that will do more than just humiliate your pooch.

Some people put these on their cats? I couldn't even get ours to tolerate a leash.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Your Sunday Funny

Soooo true, Mr. New Yorker cartoonist. Made even funnier because I am working today. Not "working" like this, but working like this.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

We Still Need Another 1.5 Kids

A graphical representation of my life. I thought we had a lot of cats until I learned that we are only 1.8 cats above average. But we are way above average on poop and hairball production. Cats and kid share poop production. Cats are sole producers of hairballs (thus far).